Simps + Subpar Stanzas

Live from Proc every Friday 6-7 pm

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Have you or a loved one been diagnosed as simp? You won’t be entitled to financial compensation, but it is free to tune in weekly to hear us analyze the condition that afflicts so many of us on the Middlebury campus. We will soothe your condition with sweet sweet schadenfreude and a touch of poetry when it feels right. We’ll also showcase a weekly selection of simpy songs that are sure to make you type out a text to them that you’ll promptly delete.

Meet the Team:

Andrew Grossman is a Sophomore Feb from the asshole of Connecticut, a surprising place of origin given their love of Midwestern emo tradition. One time they got a noise complaint for listening to Pop Smoke too loudly and it was the closest they felt to God. Their academic interests include astrology and post-structuralist sociology (“beating” people with sticks and word games during anthropological interviews).

Emma Trotzky is a Sophomore Feb from deep in the Appalachian wilderness. Hailing from a prestigious musical family featuring both Post Malone and Lil Xan look-alikes, Emma’s talent for music runs deeper even than her talent for getting friendzoned. Her simping is purely epistolary which manifests as a baseless superiority complex. What a donut. Her interests are cottage core, cowgirl larping, and the Wim Hof method



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